Harshly Judged

We are all familiar with stories from the news about teen girls and boys taking their own lives due to teasing, gossip, things such as being completely ignored or let out also tend to play a part.We hear of kids taking guns and knives to school to hurt those who have verbally or physically hurt them and we morn their pain as well as their families pain.


 We tell our children to speak to everyone, to befriend all those they come in contact with yet I wonder as adults do we really strive to do the same. My mom always said "Do As I Say, Not As I do" I can't help but remember back to that and think that is so not how it should be, what about "Do As I do"? How about instead of us telling our children to do what we say and not as we do we actually do as we say as well. How about we try to befriend all those we come in contact with and speak to everyone. It's not like we suddenly hit a certain age and have kids that we become unhurt by peoples actions or comments. We don't develop this turtle shell to bounce off things and keep us safe. We as adults can be hurt just as easily by people speaking mean, or just by them ignoring us or leaving us out. Don't get me wrong, some people get hurt much to easily, but some take much more then their share or the punishment from others and many times it is undeserved.

Why doesn't to cross our minds that adults are just as fragile as children when it comes to playing mind games and speaking ill of them. Why aren't we worried about the things some might do to escape the pain when we are adults. It isn't like things suddenly disappear as adults people still fear there life is harder now then it would be when they are gone. People still cry themselves to sleep at night. Adults still feel like they are constantly being judged by those around them and at times still aren't sure whom their true friends really are. The mere fact that grow adults have to question who they are and who truly loves them who who they are is a very sad thing for me. I've been in this spot, questioning who I was. Wondering if I was ever going to be enough for people to expect, hoping that someday I would meet the standards set forth by those judging me. At some point I realized I didn't need their approval as much as I thought they did. I realize the only approval I need to feel good about myself was mine and Heavenly Father's and as long as I know he approves and I love myself, I found I am more able to approve and LOVE those around me. I am more able to not judge harshly and to not assume what someone is like or what they stand for.

I encourage you all to ponder this next time you tell your kids to befriend someone or to not judge someone, next time you say "DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO", Ask yourself this AM I DOING AS I SAY?? AM I BEFRIENDING ALL THOSE I CAN AND AM I LOOKING AT PEOPLE WITH AN HONEST HEART AND NOT JUDGING THEM?




If you can answer this then you really not need to work on yourself and for that I congratulate you, but for most of us this is a much tougher question when we really look deep and pursue the honest answer to our lives and the paths we are on.

Time for Change

There comes a time in your life when you grow tired of the normal that has been created around you. At this point you must make a choice, to settle for something you are not happy with and keep living uncomfortably or to be the one to stand up and say I am ready for a new!! This time for me has come and I am so ready and optimistic for a new.. My outlook is positive and my heart is pure for a huge yet possible change in the world around me (specially the small world of WR, not ready to take on the whole world) Let's go I'm as ready as I can be!!

I've been on a high the last 6 weeks or so, a happiness I haven't felt in a great while and in this high I've had I have realized to keep it going changes need to be made in the world around me. My outlook towards all people must continue to be positive like ti has been the last 6 weeks or so and my drive and willingness for a change must stay strong and steadfast.  After  chatting with a few random friends I have come to realize I am not the only one with this grand approach to 2012. I am not alone in this hope for a new more positive world around us and I am not the only one ready to step up and show the love compassion and support needed to help begin this change. 

Everyone knows it only takes 1 person to start a revaluation it just comes down to who has the strength to being said change. Sometimes you don't have to begin a change alone. Once you make the change in your heart and set your mind to it you may find when taking the steps to bring the change outward  that you aren't the only person feeling the same way. By stepping out and showing a positive change you may find others stepping out and doing the same thing. People finding strength in you and finding strength in themselves to reach up and out to make a similar if not same change in their lives. 

2011 was a difficult year for many people I know including myself. By the close of the year I became so tired of being so tired and negative about the people and thing in my life I realized I couldn't live this way and to move past this changes needed to be made. The truth of the matter is a lot of the unhappiness I was feeling was self inflected by worries or stress and even doubt I put on myself. That can be seen outward after a while and others can feed on that and you never really know the effect it can have on those around you. I know I've seen it and felt it myself.  Not anymore! I am making a PACT not a resolution( cause people always give up on those by feb) to keep my heart pure as I can continue my prayers and keep the love I have found for myself and share that with others. May around me have battles they are fighting eternally  and may  be able to feel the positive vibe I am putting of. I may spark hope or a change in others just by making a change in myself.

I encourage everyone to open up their hearts and minds and expect this PACT along with me for a newer, happier and more loving self in 2012. After all the world is ending in Dec :) let's go out with a bang. Just kidding I know it's not over yet!! 

BOY or GIRL

After having 2 kids (1 girl and 1 boy) this pregnancy I haven't been able to get my gut feeling on the gender. I am really okay either way but thought it would be fun to try every single old wise tell gender prediction test I can find and see what results I get between now and the end of Feb when I find out from the doctor.

 The Baking Soda Test — Put enough baking soda into a cup to cover the bottom, then pee into the cup. If the baking soda fizzes, you’re having a boy, if it doesn't react, a girl. IT'S A GIRL

 The Cabbage Test — Cut one red cabbage into chunks, boil for 10 minutes, then set aside. Head for the bathroom, and pee into a cup. In a separate cup, mix 1 part urine with 1 part cabbage water. If the water turns pink or red, this indicates boy. If the water is purple, it’s a girl. MINE SAID GIRL

The Drano Test —  Fill one glass jar wtih 2 tablespoons of Crystal Drano, a second glass jar should contain 2-3 ounces of urine. Take test materials outside (I feel like I should recommend safety glasses, or maybe even discourage trying this one at all!), and pour urine into the glass with the Drano. If the mixture turns dark brown within 10 seconds, it’s a boy—no change, it’s a girl.  IT'S A GIRL

 Hairline Gender Test — If this is your second child, check your son or daughters neck hairline. If the hairline comes to a point, the baby you are pregnant with will be the opposite gender. If the hairline goes straight across, it will be the same gender. This test also indicated boy for me. BOY for us Kaden's hair line is straight across

 Chinese Gender Chart — 

Mother's Chinese Age At Time Of Conception

Month of Conception

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

37

38

39

40

41

42

43

44

45

January

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

February

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

G

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

March

G

B

G

G

B

G

B

B

B

G

B

G

G

B

B

B

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

April

B

G

B

G

G

B

B

G

G

B

G

G

G

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

May

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

G

G

G

G

B

G

G

G

G

G

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

June

B

B

B

G

G

G

B

B

B

G

G

B

G

G

G

G

G

G

G

B

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

July

B

B

B

G

G

B

B

G

G

B

B

B

G

G

G

G

G

G

G

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

August

B

B

B

G

B

G

G

B

B

B

B

B

G

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

G

September

B

B

B

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

B

G

G

G

G

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

October

B

B

G

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

G

G

G

G

G

G

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

November

B

G

B

G

G

B

G

B

G

G

G

G

B

G

G

G

B

B

B

G

B

G

B

G

B

B

G

B

December

B

G

B

G

G

G

G

B

G

B

G

G

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

G

G

G

B

G

B

G

B

 THIS SAYS BOY

Gold Ring on Gold necklace- This an easy baby gender prediction method to try. Take a pin, needle, or wedding ring and attach it to a thread or strand of hair. Hold the dangling item over mom to be's belly or wrist while she is lying down. If the needle or wedding ring swings in a strong circular motion, you will be having a girl. If it moves in a to and fro motion like a pendulum, you will be having a boy. GIRL for me

Nose test- Not much of a test but I've been told the wideness of your nose during pregnancy can predict gender, thanks to a friend (Claire) I've been told it is A GIRL

Heart Rate-The theory states that if your baby's heart rate was 140 beats per minute and above, you would be having a girl. If the heart rate was under 140 beats per minute, then you would be having a boy. mine says  GIRL

If anyone has anymore tests let me know I have months of waiting so I'd love to challenge the tests! :)

SO for now Girl is outweighs boy. I go to the doc this week for my 16 week check and will be picking a date to confirm or deny these test results!! Stay tuned!!

CDO & ADDH

This last week I've been trying really hard to organize rooms and clean out Crap we have in the space that will become the babies room. Man these are those days when I wish I was medicated or had someone standing over my shoulder keeping me moving in the proper direction. Now I know many of you will read this and think "What's the big deal clean the dang room" I only wish my days were that simple. Let me enlighten you a bit.


Task at hand: Organize baby room for painting

I enter room and begin to tidy up things I notice the box of ribbon I own, while cleaning up the ribbon and putting them in the briefcase I have to store them in I notice a plastic container that needs to be put back down stairs. I then proceed to take said container down stairs upon putting it back in the cabinet I notice how completely disorder it is and decide it would be much more helpful to organize this while I am here. I then begin dragging out all the dishes and containers held in said cabinet. This in turn leads to finding a bowl that is more of a mixing bowl then a cereal bowl and when I proceed to put it in the area it belongs I am unhappy with the organization and redo that cabinet as well. This in turn has taken up on average 3 + hours from my days. This does NOT include the laundry I am trying to keep going, the front room I have picked up and the trash I might of gotten take out. I find by the time Caylon comes home from work that I have redone the entire kitchen cabinet layout and moved EVERYTHING into new places that I for the time being think better serves us. (I will redo things about 2-3  weeks later because I don't like the functionality of it). 

So her is what my house now looks like. 

Baby's room- simply has had the ribbon organized

Kitchen- entire new cabinet layout

Front room- toys put away  (yet to be vacuumed or dusted)

Laundry- 2 loads washed but simply stacked on top of folding table ( to sit there a few days)

PURPOSE FOR THE DAY- To simply ORGANIZE Baby's room to make ready for painting and building shelves


Purpose achieved- HECK NO!

I know this doesn't sound like the frustrating mess I may of made it sound like, but for me someone with CDO & ADDH (OCD &ADHD). When I look back at the list I had made for myself and thing things that haven't been checked off it is at times devastating. I see so many Facebook status' from other mothers listing the many and I mean may things they have done that day and all I was able to accomplish was organizing and rearranging the inside of the kitchen cabinets! 

It drives Caylon crazy sometimes, because I can spend hours redoing something he sees as completely fine but not manage to spend time on things that as he says (see) when they come over.

For instance now, I had this awesome thought to come upstairs and Google the entire series of THE BAILEY CITY SCHOOL KIDS to try and find a list of every book published for Ri~Lee. What happened when I sat down I noticed a cup sitting on the computer desk took it down stairs washed it, picked up the toys in the kitchen took them to their rooms then noticed some pens in Ri~Lee's room that needed to comeback upstairs. So here I am frustrated with my 1 1/2 hour walk through he house I sat down and wrote this blog about it. Guess what I still haven't searched for the book, in fact until I started this paragraph I had completely forgotten the reason for sitting at this computer. I just happened to look up and see one of the books sitting in front of me and  in the words of GRU 9from my favorite movie) LIGHT BULB ~ I am supposed to be doing something else. 

UGH! I expect  no one to actually relate to this post, I was just incredibly upset with myself even when I whole heartily put forward an effort to accomplish something truly needed during the day and after hours I have zero to show for it..

Welcome Back~ Life with a refreshing point of View~

It's been almost a full year since I last blogged, I took time away because I wasn't feeling like I had anything more to share. In the last few months I have come to realize I wrote this blog not to share everything with people but to remind myself of what is going on.


I have been teaching in Relief Society for about a year and a half, I can't say I have had that many great lessons but I can say they keep me around so I can't be doing that bad. I'm coming off a year of trips and stumbles in my personal life. I have spent the year punishing myself for mistakes I made and not letting myself grow or live like I should.  I hadn't really though to much about why I kept punishing myself I just kept doing it. In the last 2 months things have happened that have caused me to reevaluate my life and the way I look at myself and others around me. I came to realize after many years I was still holding in feelings of anger, and my feelings being hurt along with a bit of shame with me towards people. The last few weeks I have felt prompted to speak to people I had never give the chance to because I was warned or told by others I would have nothing in common with or wouldn't like the way they behaved. That was a HUGE mistake on my part, to let other people dictate whom I would like or not like was completely wrong on my part. I decided to give people a chance over the last few weeks after all it is a new year why not. Guess what I learned some of these people are pretty amazing and I really do enjoy being around them. Who knew right? :)
For those of you that new me in school I was always in a conflict with someone, and even though I tried hard not to let that follow me into my adult life it did at times (some times it wasn't me bring the conflict in, sometimes it was) I have been in the Bishop's office because of issues with others I've had talks with Caylon about issues with others and even talked to friends about issues with others but something I very seldom did was talk to the PERSON I had and issue with. Some of my pending issues were years old and I found I had been caring them around with me for much to long. After chatting with several women in our ward I came to realize there are several different issues with several different people going on in the ward. Clicks just like High school (they truly never leave) were/are going on and I realized in my chats that for the first time EVER I don't have any issues with anyone. I can honestly say I have no harsh feelings, mean thoughts or bad vibes towards a single person in the ward in the  squadron or really in my life right now.. I was shocked when I actually said this out loud, it hit me really hard to realize that I AM FREE. Do you know how good it feels to be free of conflict free of tension (expect my current headache) and mostly free of drama(can't help but hear of others drama)! I feel uplifted and upbeat.

I teach once a month in R.S. and this new manual we got made me very nervous. I had been struggling for months on the inspiration vs desperation thing with my calling and most Sundays Desperation was winning. I am sure some could tell. I also received a new presidency over the holiday and the swap was making me a bit nervous as well. New ladies sometimes me new preferred teaching styles. I was also dreading the new manual over George Albert Smith. I sat down and glanced at the title of this lesson and saw "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF" I can honestly say I was excited to teach this. I was researching the lesson when I stumbled across this quote 

" Marvin J Ashton: “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weakness, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

I knew instantly who should read this quote and where my lesson was supposed to go. I can honestly say this lesson spoke to me more then any other lesson I've taught and if no one got anything from it that's fine because I got tons!

I leave you celebrating with my on my new found peace and joy on finally being able to look at everyone and have love in my heart. I can say it was not easy and it took  for some people years before I was able to see them with this feeling, but I am finally able to do it. To pray whole heartily about them when they are in need and to smile with sincere heart. 

I encourage everyone young and old to really take head to the quote above, to really ponder those who have wronged you and more importantly those who you may have wronged and ask yourself am I giving them the benefit of the doubt, am I looking to them with LOVE & Charity in my heart am I (LOVING THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF) and remember to love thy neighbor you must first love thyself!!

 For how can you love thy neighbor or thy god without loving thyself?

The gospel teaches us to have charity for all and to love our fellows. The Savior said:

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, this is the first and great commandment.

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matthew 22:37–40.]