This question was posted towards me in a class I'm currently taking. I have been in a funk and I suppose it takes a stranger to point that out.
Thank you for sharing with us. Have you ever read The Death of Ivan Ilich Novella by Leo Tolstoy? Some of your words reminded me him of him.
What will it take for you to be happy doing what you are doing such as working on earning degrees? You say you hate school so I'm wondering why would someone be willingly unhappy doing what they hate instead of pursuing what they truly treasure and love doing. You also mentioned that you push yourself, this push you mentioned is the kind of push as in forcing yourself to achieve school per se? Or is there an underlying "push " that acts as your internal biological or psychological source of motivation?