Sunday, August 15, 2010

Phantom of the Opera!!


"Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected." ~ Charles Lamb

Either there was something in that chocolate fountain or we should not be allowed after 8:30 on a Friday Night. Things tend to get a little crazy!!

Amy,
Leah, Haylee, me,
Becky E. Angie, Becky B. Jen
Alesa, Jennifer (in back)
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." - Bernard Meltzer
Gosh 10:00 pm hits and people go WILD!

Becky & Becky
The chocolate was REALLY GOOD!
Becky, Jen, Becky
I think this speaks for itself.
Amy was being naughty!! Shame on you Amy
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty." – Silican proverb
Haylee, Leah, me, and Amy
I had chocolate on my finger..
I told you the Chocolate was GOOD!
Goingin for the Kill
Lisa, Tracy, Alesa, Becky
We were actually behaving at this point
This is us before we got into Heavily into the chocolate
Jen, Angie, Leah, Amy, Haylee
Me (in front)
Becky (peeking over the back)
This is what happens after we got Heavy into the Chocolate
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A difference of preceptions?

When I look at myself I see:





  • I'm outgoing, but very shy at times.
  •  I love my family and my friends and I would go above and beyond to please and help any of them.
  • I say I don't really care about what people think yet find myself constantly trying to be a people pleaser.. I'm always smiling, yet frowning alot.
  • I contradict myself constantly. I have little faith in myself, but know other have all the faith in me.. It doesn't help much with my faith in myself..
  • I love my religion, I used to think of myself as an unorthodox Mormon, until I really checked into what that means to others. Now I just say I am Mormon with some flaws, I'm working on. Cussing is the biggest. Constant spiritual thought is next.
  • I can give the best advice to others but can't seem to follow it myself.
  • I give my whole heart to what ever I am doing and whom ever I am doing it with...
  • I am 22 with children and a military husband and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. My heart says Teach but my head says business!!
  • I talk to several people from Oklahoma, but truly truly hate the place.
  • I am a horrible speller and typist
  • I make up my own words when I can't think of something to fit my thoughts.
  • I write constantly, I hate to read. I have a problem saying yes to people.
  • I only have 3 people on my list of (Banned people) and both I wish No harm on but can completely live without there names ever being brought up again.. I hold grudges alot, and I know that's bad, yet I don't know how to completely let go...
  • I like my ears and my smile and that's about it.
  • I have a lot of health problems I don't like to talk about cause I don't like to go to the Dr. I don't like to answer questions and I hate sympathy..
  • I struggle everyday with thinking positive, loving life and cleaning house. 
  • I think of myself  as a fun person. My need for acceptance, makes or breaks me sometimes.
  •  I miss my grandparents every single day and I can't watch Winnie the Pooh or Wheel of Fortune cause it reminds me of them.. I have a mother who is very sick and has been for 10+ years. I envy my sister relationship with my dad.
  •  I miss playing softball every day of my life.
  • I have more regrets then I do good memories, as a teenager.  I was a horrible kid and a more difficult teenager.
  • I feel inferior at church around the awesome ladies that, have made good choices their whole life. I envy those that have grown up in the gospel and I can't stand it when people take that for granted. Primary is the best part of Sunday meetings. The Spirit the kids carry is the sweetest thing ever... 
  • I love am scared, scared of tomorrow, scared or next year, scared of loosing people. Scared of the dark outside(I have good reason trust me), scared of spiders, snakes, holes( example beehives)
  • Slugs freak me out.
  • I hate the word Fart,
  • I honestly someday hope to be a key spouse in any squadron Caylon is in. I want to meet and reach out and organize spouse things, to help encourage, and met other military wives. I want to help them get the proper care during deployments, make sure they are feed when the have babies, or surgeries, or deaths, and welcomed when they are new, weather they came from a different state, basic training, or another squadron on the same base..
  • I want to be a president in Primary some day, to share the many ideas and thought I have collected from the 3 wonderful President's I have served with...
  • I am horrible with money, budgeting is something I was never taught. Coupons confuse me but I so want to use them.
  • I am 22 a wish I was 25, because I get looked at like I have no concept for what being a Adult is when people here my age. Forget that I have 2 kids, live 1000 miles from any family and have been through 3 deployments(more to come) over a dozen TDY's. 3 Moves (1 completely alone) But, yea I have no concept of adult life.
  • My biggest pet peeve is when people lie, cheat or just plain ignore me.
  • Don't give me an open ended invitation
  • I love ice cream, Dutch Chocolate
  • I love snow cones,I eat almost anything in chocolate, expect raisins
  • I am lover and not a fighter, expect with Caylon :)
  • I had a lot of acquaintances in High School, but no close friends. I moved from group to group after I had to quit sports. I floated through school, just trying to get by
  • I desperately want to tell people about my past, but fear the way they will react.
  • There is not a single person alive that knows everything about me and my life, including my husband.
I carry a smile almost all the time, I hide my feelings until I burst. My close friends can see the pain in my eyes, My best friend can usually fix it.. :)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Special Needs? Seriously?

Okay, so today I was at a lunch, with a group of ladies I didn't know. It was put together to discuss the needs of those around the area with special needs children in the military. I wasn't sure how I got into being invited to this meeting until the very end. (I'll explain) As awkward as it was to be where I knew no one, I went because as a high school, I used to Volunteer with the Special Olympics, I played the sports as a partner(softball, volleyball) I have always been around kids with special needs, weather it be autism, down syndrome, or things like sever brain damage, and Cerebral Palsy. I guess I figured I could listen and think of creative things to do...

As the meeting started there was a presentation on special needs. Now, I expected to hear about autism, down syndrome, and such. I planned on listening to way that we can raise awareness for these diseases. What I didn't expect was to find out there are 3 main categories for defining Special needs: Behavioral, medical, and developmental. Makes since right!!

Continuing in the presentation they went on to give examples of some, A child with Behavioral issues is someone who suffers from Fetal Achocol Spectrum Disorder, and ADHA! This is where I set up in my chair, in shock. Pure Shock...

They went onto describe the ADHA:

AD/HD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder characterized by developmentally inappropriate impulsivity, attention, and in some cases, hyperactivity beginning in childhood, "typically" by the age of 7. Children with AD/HD often have a 2-4 year developmental delay and frequently have other coexisting conditions. To be diagnosed with AD/HD, individuals must show at least 6 of the characteristics in either or both of the categories below. Symptoms must be more frequent or severe than in other children the same age. Symptoms must be present for at least 6 months.


 Now, some story background. When I was 6 I had a awesome 1st grade teacher and principle, that recommended I be tested(or monitored) for ADHD. They were right in their assumptions, adn I was quickly put on Ritalin, several pills a day. I was also introduced to a family and behavioral councilor. I remember going often, maybe once or more a week. Her name was Vonie! Loved here... My family sometimes had to go to. I remember playing with this huge doll house it was all wooden.. So cool!

There are 3 primary subtypes.




AD/HD predominately inattentive type:



  • often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities

  • often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities

  • often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

  • Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behaviour or failure to understand instructions)

  • often has difficulty organising tasks and activities

  • often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework).

  • often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)

  • is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

  • is often forgetful in daily activities

AD/HD predominately hyperactive-impulsive type


  • often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat

  • often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected

  • often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness)

  • often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly is often "on the go" or

  • often acts as if "driven by a motor"

  • often talks excessively
Impulsivity Symptoms .


  • often blurts out answers before questions have been completed

  • often has difficulty awaiting turn

  • often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g. butts into conversations or games) .
AD/HD combined type Individual meets both sets of inattention and hyperactive/impulsive criteria.  


B. Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms that caused impairment were present before age 7 years. . Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g. at school [or work] and at home). There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.




  • I was retained into First Grade again with the same amazing teacher and with the medication counseling and teachers family help I was then I suppose you could say somewhat under control. Enough to be in a class room, with out running all over or fidgeting until I feel out of my chair. I was still very angry though...

    I took Ritalin until I was in the 6 grade I stopped the summer before I started.. I did ok, When I was 15 I went Concerta. It made me feel like my skin was crawling so I wen toff of it and haven't taken anything since.. Sometimes I get embarrassed because I wiggle so much, or blurt things out or interrupt everyone! I do it alot. Watch me in church I can't sit still weather it's my foot tapping or my butt wiggling I am always moving!

     There were to thing I got from the presentationand the things I read when I got home.

    1. It is class as special needs( I was in gifted and talented, which is why I was so shocked to learn that I could of every well been in the opposite class)

    2. That Anxiety is considered to be a common co-existing condition with ADHD.

    • Some recent studies have shown that one fourth of children with ADHD exhibit some symptoms of an anxiety disorder, while between just five percent and 15 percent of children in the general population are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. These results would imply a high incident rate of anxiety disorders in children with ADHD.
    Some of the major symptoms of anxiety disorder include:
    • Anxious and/or fearful feelings without an apparent cause.
    • Chronic, exaggerated worry.
    • Problems with concentration or distractibility.
    • Insomnia 
    The most common type of anxiety disorder is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder and affects approximately 5 percent of the American population. Phobias are considered to be irrational and overwhelming fears of an object or a situation. Most people will avoid those objects or situations in order to avoid the fear that accompanies it.


    Okay, so Let me say, that I understand it is a disease that is widely over diagonosed in the world right now. (Autism is taking it over now though). I have friends with children that have I supposed what you would call Several special needs, Such as Down Syndrome, and SI. So to think that I am classed as a special needs adult is confusing.

    Though it is hard and some days and times I struggle more then others. Some are infact VERY VERY hard to get through and very frusterating when I find myself not getting anything done because I bounce around to 10 (not exaggerating) different tasks during the day. I can still function pretty well. Yes it makes em a horrible driver cause I see things that catch my attention or the worste I get caught in random useless thoughts while driving and though I may be looking forward hands on the wheel I don't remember getting to wal-mart cause I was thinking about that house I passed then the dress someone wore to church, then what I had for lunch last week cause I ate it with teh chick in teh church dress. This chain of thoughts form adn I go from one point to a completely different one in a matter of seconds.

    I still feel almost guilty to be considered special needs. I know there are so many out there that can function like I can though it can be very hard...

    I suppose the point off all this was to get out the sheer shock I had in my head when I found out I was classed as a sever ADHA Adult which mean I am classed as A special needs adult.
I was later told I was invited to this meeting because someone mentioned I was diagnosed with ADHA as a a child. So I was an adult with Special Needs there to give insight. =/