Sometimes it's the little things

So days have gone by since I posted about not wanting to be in the spotlight. I went on and on in a random problem rant about not wanting to be in the newspaper in my local home town. I talked about how I felt rejected by the town and many of the people in it.

I don't regret my post nor have my feelings changed to much but today while searching for completely random things on Pintrest (best site ever) I happen to come across this picture.

Now this is not the first time I have ever heard this, but it is something I keep forgetting. It's funny how the little things like randomly stumbling upon a cardboard sign on a website while searching for food ideas can make you feel just that much better about yourself.

In life I tend to forget my mistakes, aren't mistakes all the time. In fact some of those so called mistakes are indeed 'blessings' that I don't recognize until years past. Let me explain.


This may get lengthy and personal:

At 16 I was dating a guy named Kris from another town, he broke my heart and about broke my arm a time or too. I look back now after finding out he is a drug addict and in and out of jail and thank my stars I didn't continue down his path. After getting dumped by Kris I bounced between 2 guys from Verden (Lance and Josh)  Lance was the boy down the road whom I had grown up with watching him and his friends ride 4 wheelers up and down the road. I was completely ignored by them for years then I turn 16 get a car and the recently acquired boobs and contacts may of helped as well and suddenly those 4 wheelers are slowing down and turning into the driveway. Life was good and when I was finally asked to 'hang out' I was over the moon, months go by and I bounced between both Josh and Lance and I began to realize we only hung out at their house or in Josh's case we would go out of town on dates, like a good hour out of town. We never went in public together and come to find out it was because the girls in Verden whom hated me didn't approve of me so I was this hidden girl who was only called when they were bored and alone... After being devastated by the rejection of not only Kris but Lance and Josh, I bounced around to a few not so great guys that got me in so serious trouble with school and my family. In the midst of all this I started hanging out with Lindsey and met Caylon through her. Within a week we started dating, I was just over 16 and he was 19. This was May and he had already decided to not go on a mission for his church which meant nothing to me being I was some form of Baptist Methodist and Christian faith. Come August he tells me he is going to join the AIRFORCE and get out of this town. I was devastated but wasn't about to leave this hearthrob who told me he loved me within the first 2 weeks. He left in Feb and I said I would wait but being in highschool I saw boys everywhere. We were actually broken up when I went to his Basic training graduation and we bounced back and forth from together to not from March on. His Tech school was 5 hours from home so he came home 4th of July to see family and me (broken up at the time) and sometime during that 3 day span of his visit Ri~Lee was created. He was 20 and I was 17 at the time. I found out in August and he wasn't at all happy, nor was I. After going to see him in September over Labor day we decided we were going to get back together and raise this baby. In October he Proposed as he was leaving for the 2 day trip to his new station in Georgia (we had been off and on for a year and a half at this point). In December I decided to fly out for new years and we broke the news to my family I was going to be going to the court house in Georgia to marry him. January 3 2006 we were married in Houston County Court House in Perry Georgia and on March 22 2006 He flew in to Oklahoma to arrive just 5 hours before his baby girl Ri~Lee joined the world. I then moved out to Georgia on Easter weekend of 2006 not even a month after she was born and he deployed in June of that same year so back to Oklahoma I came until August. Finally living together after 7-8 months of marriage at the age of 18 and 21 was hard and I decided we needed to find a church to attend in town. He was not about to budge on the church that was going to be. Even though he had been inactive for the whole time before we got married he was still not about to go anywhere but the mormon church.So I figured why not. In October of 2006 We wen tot his church and by December of that same year, these two amazing elders were scheduling my Baptism date for December 23. I was confirmed a member the same day Ri~Lee was blessed December 2 2006. I was the best Christmas Eve I have ever experienced...

Decemeber 19 2010 we went to the Alabama temple and were sealed to each other and the kids for time and all eternity and are welcoming our third child into the world in just 5 short weeks. This baby will be the first baby born into the covenant and it doesn't make her any more special to me but it does bring me a peace knowing it took us years of doing things backwards and many many MISTAKES on my part but I finally figured out the important things in life.

I guess what I realized today when seeing that cardboard sign is I am not the mistakes I have made, I am the strong religious woman those mistakes which turned into being some of the greatest blessing I could of ever asked for have made me..

Without my mistakes I wouldn't be Mormon, I most likely wouldn't be married to Caylon and there is a strong chance I wouldn't be a mom at this point in my life. All things I wouldn't give up for anything in this world. I am THANKFUL for those mistakes that have become my blessings!!

Best part is the people in my life in Georgia know bout those mistakes/blessings and have expected them head on for what they are mistakes and love what they have made me whether the town I made them in does or not. My past has lead to my amazing present and BRIGHT FUTURE!!