Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but don't quit moving.
To get on my soap box once again, which is partly why I started this blog:: I want to talk about Marriage. To be upfront this may and most likely will offend someone, so read with caution cause I am not holding back!!
January 3, 2006 I was married considering I was born on May 9, 1988. I defiently qualify as a young, ok very young bride!
In saying that, I want to add that the date is June 11, 2010 and I am still Happily Married to the same man!!
I have been looking at status updates on facebook over the last few weeks and have noticed 3 different friends change their's from married to single. I seen several quit college, and even more their job. I am not in these sutations myself so to pass judgement on them specifically is wrong of me, that is not what I am wanting nor trying to do. I just can't help think to myself that 22 and divorced, or 26 and dropping out of college cause your accounting classes got to hard for you to handle even though you have dreamed of being an accountant since you were 4, is so sad for me to watch. I am not saying I have had a cakewalk life nor have I had the rock hard life some may have had. However, I have had my share of ups and downs. Life is full of them, being a miltiary wife things happen and they change quickly, you say goodbye to your family, your hubby, and even those awesome friends you met on your way. This sucks but you can't give up. You pout for a bit, then realize that life doesn't stop nor end when something bad happens.
When I was a kid, I had about 5 girls I hung out with out of the 6 of us 5 of us still had married parents. If I named 5 people from highschool I still talk to today, them themselves, out of the 6 of us 2 are yet to marry 1 in engaged 1 is remarried and 2 are married to their first hubby. Taking their parents into the picture 3 of the girls have married parents and 3 have had divorced parents some many times.
Taking my own personal family into the picture my grandparents were both 50 years + my aunts are still married, one is a widow, my parents are over 20.
I looked it up and the U.S. is the leading country in divorce and Oklahoma is in the top of the list for muptile divorces!
Divorce is as common in the Florida Keys as fresh grouper and cold beer. Census statistics released this week show that Monroe County - which includes the cluster of 1,700 islands floating off South Florida - has the second-highest proportion of divorced residents. A little more than 18 percent of the people living in Monroe County are divorced, second only to Indiana's Wayne County, which had 19 percent. Nationwide, 10.7 percent of people over 15 are divorced.
Three of the top 10 counties the divorced call home are in Florida - rural Putnam County in Northeast Florida and urban Pinellas County on the Gulf Coast are the other two. Indiana had a total of three counties in the top 10 as well. Along with Wayne County, Floyd and Madison counties made the list.
Newly released census figures show that while the number of unmarried people continued its 10-year climb, the ranks of married people in the United States rose by nearly 6 million last year, bucking a decade-long decline. The number of divorced people rose, but only slightly.
Among the other marriage- and divorce-related findings from the census data:
The number of unmarried people climbed to about one-third of all Americans over 15.
Oklahoma has the highest rate of people who have been married three times or more.
Utah and Idaho tied for the youngest median bride age, at 23.5 years old
I am not saying some people are in horrible marriages, I know, but some people I think just don't know how to try. Some make the decision of getting married either to young, to quickly, or in a druken state! Marriage used to be a special cermony people went through infront of those improant to them to show that they love the person standing next to them. It seems to me that now a days the focus seems to be more on the the show of the wedding. That dream princess moment for every young girl instead of that moment in time were 2 become 1 under God and infront of everyone!
I personally have a deep passion on this because I wasn't able to experience a wedding infront of those important to me, It was in its slef a personal decesion that in that moment worked best for Caylon and I. However, I do wish my father could of walked me down that isle and stated that he and my mother gave me to Caylon infront of my family and very close friends!
When I was getting married, my grandma puled me aside before I packed to fly to Georgia and told me her oh so awesome and wise plan for a long marriage.... "If it won't matter 50 years from now, then it doesn't matter now"
This at the time was confusing to me, but now I can honestly say it has saved me many tears and alot of yelling.. Cause when you step back and think about it, no being late after a night out with the guys isn't worth it 50 years from now!!
Something that goes with that is communication! Do people in general even know what this is anymore. I mean really communication and curtasey go hand in hand in my opinion. Yelling at someone or giving them the finger is not communicating. Sorry!! Sitting down even if it is a bit after something has happened and actually talking it out is communication.. Listening to what each other have to say is communication, 2-WAY COMMUNICATION is how to get it going!!! :) Trust me been there done that!!
What about seeking help, Has PRIDE become sucha big thing that people can't ask for help anymore. Caylon adn I knew when we married young that the odds were against us. Heck alot of people were against us, but we both don't believe in Divorce! At least not for us.. We agreeded that we would seek all possible help before throwing in the marriage towel.
Something else, is Religion. You see more and more young couples not building their marriage on Faith. Where do they learn this from their parents. How do we stop this, You have to be the one to stop the chain. Raising your children in church will help increase your chances of not only a sucessful marriage but a successful life, when you have somewhere to turn when things go bad, or good... I personally have never really been one to push religion upon anyone but when you have a sick person and you have the prescription to make them better you can't help but want them to take it cause you know it will truly help...... :)
Let me close in stressing that a violant relationship is not something I reccommend anyone staying in, a relationship filled with Fidelity is something that only the people involved in the relationship can decided what is right to do. However I do believe that communication in is VERY important in that type of relationship.. A relationship that involves CHILDREN is always much more complicated then others and though I do not agree staying in a realtionship for the sake of the children, I do think tryign to part ways (if you must) in the most cordigle way is best for the children. When parents themselves act as children is when things get ugly and bitter.... LIVING with someone is completely different then living alone, wether that person be a family member, friends or spouce it is never and will never be easy....
I think today people have lost passion for everything, themselves, their work, even most hobbies. People don't want to try, I don't know if it is fear of failure or fear of actually succedding but people don't try!
Sorry I didn't talk about the college things, but I am out of time..
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